Werner the Werewolf

Werner the Werewolf
There once was a German farmer,
Who was getting very poor,
For bunnies were eating all his crops.
Every night they came back for more.

The rabbits ate all the lettuce,
The carrots and the peas,
The potatoes and the cabbage.
The farm was on its knees.

The farmer put an ad in the paper.
I don't want a single bunny.
I need someone to kill them all.
I'm serious. It's not funny.

Werner luckily saw the ad.
To the farm he went one day.
He asked the farmer, whose name was Hans,
How much are you willing to pay?

Five marks a day is all you'll get,
Plus board and lodgings too,
And all the rabbits you catch, of course.
What you leave, we'll put in a stew.

But what makes you sure you can kill them all?
The farmer he wanted to know.
I've tried so many ways before.
I've hunted high and low.

Werner had to tell him the truth,
Although it gave Hans a fright.
What, a werewolf? he asked. You look so nice!
Werner answered, just wait till tonight.

When evening fell, they went out to the fields,
And the moon soon began to shine.
Then Werner's skin began to change
The hair was just the first sign.

His teeth began to grow very sharp,
The nails in his hand became claws.
His ears became hairy and pointed and black,
While his feet turned quickly to paws.

Hans was dead scared, but he needn't have been,
For Werner just scampered away.
In a trice he was back, his jaws dripping with blood,
And six rabbits dropped dead in the hay.

There were hundreds of rabbits still to be killed.
It took him a year and more.
And just when Werner had finished his work,
He was called up to fight in the war.

The war had been fought for over four years.
It was getting close to the end,
But Werner had only just reached the age
When his country thought he could defend.

The doctor checked his medical state.
He said, You are rather strange!
You've got hair everywhere and rather long nails,
And you're showing signs of mange.

Werner said, I'm a working werewolf.
My job used to be on a farm.
My job was just to kill rabbits,
And no humans came to harm.

So, because he had jaws that were strong
And no fear of flying lead,
They send him out on moonlit nights
To bring back the wounded and dead.

One night he saw something that moved,
So he found a crater to hide,
But it was just an English werewolf
Taking Tommies back to their side.

Next day was November the eleventh,
Nineteen eighteen was the year.
At eleven o'clock the guns all fell quiet
No more for the soldiers to fear.

So Werner crossed into no man's land
And called "Is the werewolf here?"
He was answered quite soon, as SHE replied,
"I hoped you would call me, my dear."

Well, Werner and Judy fell deeply in love,
And soon they were husband and wife.
They had lots of baby werewolves.
From the midst of death there came life.
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